What makes a Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked “What makes a Mother?”
And I know I heard Him say.

“A Mother has a baby”
This we know is true
“But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby’s not with you?”

“Yes, you can,” He replied
With confidence in His voice
“I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there’s no need to stay.”

“I just don’t understand this God
I want my baby to be here.”
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.

“I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child’s smile,
With all the other children and say…

‘We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow’s where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don’t be sad today,
I’m your baby and I’m here.’

“So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they’ll stay.

They’ll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson’s through.
And on the day that you come home
they’ll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It’s the feeling in your heart
it’s the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They’ll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!”
-Author Unknown.

Rollercoaster Ride.

Only way I can describe this past month- a complete rollercoaster ride.

We found out we were pregnant mid February. We were both so extremely happy. Then 2 weeks later I started having signs of miscarriage which blood tests confirmed and then a week ago yesterday I started to miscarry.

While I was miscarrying we had already planned a vacation to New York to visit our doctors from the Women’s Therapy Center and to meet up with our friends who were going for treatment. We went ahead and went along with our plans- and the distraction was greatly needed.

I want to post more in detail about our new york trip, but right now I am just asking for prayers. I know I was early on in the pregnancy, but I already loved THIS baby.

I know people don’t really know what to say and just want to encourage me- but not to be rude- things such as ‘at least you know you can get pregnant’ or ‘your so young, you’ll have plenty of babies’ or ‘at least it happened early on’ or even ‘God has a reason’- don’t really mean much right now. It doesn’t give me this baby back.

My mom bought me the book I’ll Hold You In Heaven by Pastor Jack Hayford. I have only read half of it so far but it has been such a comfort to me to see scripture after scripture confirming that my 6 and a half week old baby was truly a physical and spiritual life and that I will see him/her in heaven.

We love you baby and can not wait to meet you.