A quick update as it is late and I am quite tired but wanted to briefly fill you all in on our first two days of treatment.
I first want to say that I LOVE the doctors that are working with us. They could not be any better! They have been super helpful by providing us with coupons, directions to wherever we want to go, and discounted broadway tickets (which we are hoping to go see a show sometime while we are here). Plus they give us their contact information so we can call them whenever we need them- and not just for medical reasons- even for if we just need a good idea what to eat for dinner. 🙂
Yesterdays two sessions were mainly ‘talk sessions’. Talked about our jobs, our medical history, mental health history, our ‘vaginismus story’ and a lot of just getting to know one another. The doctors do a have a great balance of maintaining a professional atmosphere but also a relaxed atmosphere. You can tell they have a passion for helping women/couples with this problem and it clearly shows.
Today’s two sessions were a bit more trying as it was my first day of actual treatment. And just because I know Dr. Ross sometimes reads my blog- there were some very intense ‘training sensations’ (a.k.a. PAIN!-ha) but I was able to do whatever they asked and I am happy about that–but to be frank- it was a physically and emotionally difficult two sessions. Bennett and I ended the evening going to a beautiful beach and that was wonderful and a great way to end the day! The sand is so white and they have these beautiful stones that I never have seen on a beach before so we collected quite a few of those and just took a long walk.
God has been so good to us and I really feel He is teaching me a lot these past four days while I have been here. There is a lot of ‘letting go’ I need to do and I need to simply accept God’s unconditional love for and find FREEDOM in that! I love that word-freedom! I often allow myself to stay in bondage- instead of dealing with the issues up front, hiding them from God, etc. But the bottom line is that the Lord has a jealous love for me, an unconditional, pursuing, passionate love for me and He wants to set me free. There is nothing I can do that can set myself free or earn His love- I must simply surrender to Him and allow Him to do the work in me.