So I have been MIA on the blog front and figured it was about time for an update! Tonight is one of those nights that I need to organize my thoughts with a list so that’s what you’ll be getting.
Update on our New York Treatment Trip:
-God is SO faithful, even when we are not. I was really struggling a few weekends ago, still wrestling with the idea of going to New York. Bennett and I had kept talking about how we needed to go to the bank and get a medical loan but we both just kept putting it off and a few of our friends really didn’t think that God would let us be indebted to a financial institution over this matter. So that particular weekend I was quite frankly upset with God. I had no real reason, just was in a funk and was tired of this battle of Vaginismus and the strain it has caused over our past two years of marriage. I told God the Friday of that weekend if the money was not provided by Monday I was not going. First off, it is NEVER okay to do that to God- ‘if you don’t do this, I won’t do that’. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But how incredibly humbled I was when Bennett came home from church that Sunday saying that a couple from our church came up to him and said they wanted to loan us the money- and the amount they quoted to him was the exact amount left that we had figured up that we needed! I had not told Bennett about my angry prayer to God so I was completely broken and embarrassed by my prayer but in awe of our God. Praise be to GOD who cares for us- even when we are filthy, dirty sinners. But then again- aren’t we always filthy, dirty sinners?
-‘How He Loves’ (made popular by David Crowder) has been a song resounding in my heart ever since we left Furnace Creek. It was played at our first Sunday in city light, it was play twice on a particular day that I was really struggling with doubt over going to New York and as soon as I started to pray about going, it popped up on Spirit FM and then later in the day on Pandora. Sometimes I view God as this mean Shrek like figure who stands from afar off and casts judgement on everyone. God is really breaking me of that view lately- showing me how judgmental I am personally and how loving HE is in spite of ourselves.
-I have written in my journal many more ways God has confirmed His leading in our decision to go to New York which I don’t have the time and energy to post right now- but will share soon. I will have lots of time to blog during our two week treatment! It is less then a month away and I can honestly say now for the first time I am actually more excited then anxious and I know that this is all part of the story that God has designed for my life so it can bring glory to him.
Other random musings:
-One of my best friends, Natalie, is getting married. We had an awesome bachelorette weekend a few weekends back and her big day is THIS weekend! So excited for you Nat and I love you and am honored to be a part of it 🙂
-The Biggest Loser finale was a few weeks ago. I made it through without crying.
-I have started to pick up the hobbie of making jewelry. Bennett works alot of evenings and I often just go home and sit on my butt and watch Hulu. Not productive at all! So far I am enjoying it and am also hoping it’ll be something good to fill time during our treatment trip.
-One of my best friends, Kari, is pregnant! I am SO excited for her as we have been praying for this for over a year. Even though it is a different situation for both of us- we both understood the struggle of emotions that comes with wanting something that we both didn’t have- something that should come naturally to women. We have shared many conversations and prayers with each other over pregnancy and Vaginismus and I praise God for answering our prayers!
-My little Ella is 7 years old. I love her so much and am blessed to have her as my little sister. Ella is coming to stay with us next weekend and I am looking forward to a fun weekend of sister time!
-Bennett continues to be an incredible husband- I can’t even adequately put it into words. He has hung curtains all around our house, often cleans ands cooks me meals, and is currently working on a big ‘secret’ project which he has told me will completely make our bedroom look different then it does now. He wants the project to be complete by the time we leave for New York. He does all this while working full time- often six days of week and when he isn’t working at Lowes he is painting with a friend on his days off to earn some extra cash. I am so completely and totally blessed.
-We both have fallen in love with our church family at Citylight. It is like no other church we have ever been to before- but in an exceptional way. We have both learned so many valuable lessons in the short three months we have been there and the time of rest from ministry has been excellent for our relationship and has continued to put more into focus what the Lord wants us to do after this break period of vocational ministry- as for a Christian ‘ministry’ should be a daily thing- but we both do not feel that Bennett will not be working at Lowes forever 🙂
Bennett will be home soon from work so that is all for now–sleep is calling my name! Oh, and if you will, pray for my friend Jess. She is currently serving at a ministry called Youthworks in Philly, PA. It is in the middle of the ghetto (in her words ;)) and she is the head leader of that particular site. She has had a trying three weeks thus far and she needs prayer as well as her team and the individuals she will be ministering too! Thanks 🙂